A stranger, a friend, a sister, an acquaintance, a memory that may filter through your mind, a glimpse of just another face in this world. I’m everything I wish to be, everything my soul commands my heart to feel, my mind compels my lips to speak, my hands to touch, I’m everything my eyes desire to gaze upon. I am a million secrets and then sometimes none, I’m an ocean of contradictions and unspoken words, I’m silence embodied and then, I’m words unending, a list of feelings and emotions pouring from a heart that feels too much and a mind that thinks too much.

            I’m a dreamer, of so many dreams, dreams as big as the universe and as tiny as specks of sand all in one. I long to see the world, to see the stars, to be a star, to remove myself from all earthly pleasures, yet I love to feel pleasures from the simple things in life, the sun on my face, the rain on my face, wind through my hair, smell the dirt after it’s rained, feel the cool air in the night, envy the moon and her brilliance of light; the pleasure of words and writing. The ability to express myself to give my soul a voice through my hands and lips is one I won’t give up, one I won’t ever take for granted. Simple things fascinate me, I’m pleased with myself and yet furious at my imperfections, but alas, that’s God’s choice and his work, not mine, I must respect it.

            I love to feel even when it hurts, “Pain lets you know you’re alive”. I like to wrap myself up in blankets of improbable thoughts and notions, spin golden dreams for myself and take time to enjoy them and the fantasy of them. I like to write sometimes in my diary, not always, I find my handwriting a bit childish still, detracts from the maturity my age should reflect, all subject to opinion. I love the night, I believe it holds all my dreams in shadows, away from the morning, the morning sheds a painfully realistic light on the world I’d rather avoid sometimes, but the night is a friend to everything, and it softens the truth and realities. I believe man is an animal, the most beautiful of all, but an animal nonetheless. I believe we choose to be sad and depressed because it’s easier to deal with, happiness is something you have to work for mentally. Sadness is easier to assume. But I believe pain is deeper than happiness, it dives below the surface, it’s sometimes more real.

            I believe the real in us is dangerous and at times ugly. I believe we are who we choose to be in this life and I believe we are never at our best potential and most of us settle along life’s path instead of seeing it all the way through. We die where we have stopped in life without ever truly finishing sometimes. I believe family and friends and those true friendships we find along life’s road that last a lifetime, that genuine people are genuine treasures and those who are fortunate enough to find loyal, committed friends, have found and tasted a touch of heaven in their lives. Thanks to my friend Sudip for being one such friend, I have been given a chance to pour my dreams out on paper, to reveal my soul to the world.